9. going for the (other) burn

Saturday

Yay! Went to the gym today for the first time since getting my feeding tube installed and starting treatment. I managed to run 5 laps before the tube started to hurt, but they felt good! Then I was able to do almost all of my routines on the machines, with the exception of pull-ups. For some reason they seem to use the specific stomach muscles where the tube is inserted. However, surprisingly, I could still do abdominal crunches (within reason). Go figure.

Afterward, Betsy and I had planned to go into the city and visit MOMA, but the thought of all those people and the travel time, and etc was a turn off. Instead we went for a hike with the dog at a neaby park. Very pleasant. Then we got groceries. It's good to be able to do normal stuff. Tomorrow I'm gonna do a little yoga.

My 'acne' is pretty pronounced now so I wear a ball cap to try and shield the unsuspecting from the sight. Swallowing is getting a little harder. It's not that it hurts exactly, more like it's just kind of sensitive and will hurt soon. My jaw muscle is definitely feeling tired, I assume as a result of the radiation. I regularly do an open and close exercise my dentist taught me. Most noticeable: I am losing my sense of taste. Food is getting much more matter-like and it is harder to eat a lot of it. Speaking of which, I was reminded of, and just re-read, a great New Yorker article about a genius chef named Grant Achatz who was treated for tongue cancer a couple years ago. He had a much more serious case and it required much more intensive treatment. He lost his hair during his chemo. But he seems to have recovered well.

One of the points made by the article was the irony of this crazily inventive chef losing his sense of taste. He had to have his assistant chefs taste for him as he invented new dishes. He also used his other senses to gauge taste, like smell and sight. And then when he slowly began regaining his taste, it was like he was re-born and used the experience to develop new dishes and menus. It's a great example, for me, of the many sides of this adventure. I completely recommend the article. It's here: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/05/12/080512fa_fact_max.

I must admit I am proud to have some sort of kinship with this dude, albeit a painful one. There are definitely some cool characters in the big C club.

I'm trying to keep track of what I can still taste. I've had a lot of pasta and tomato sauce the last few days, but I can no longer taste that. I had turkey and sweet potatoes and rice for lunch the other day. Couldn't taste that. I can still taste peanut butter, guacamole, corn salsa, lox, olives, vinegar, capers, cranberry juice. Not sure about sugar. I think I still can taste salt.

So far I am still able to grow a beard. But it sounds like I'll be losing that for sure, and not just on the afflicted side of my face. Since the radiation is shot in 360 degrees, I'll lose it on both sides. That should be kind of weird.

I feel a little more tired in general. It's a little more difficult to concentrate on things. I don't sleep all night, usually awakening around 4 or 5 for a couple of hours. I'm still going to work, and getting things done. I'm trying to get together with friends before the intensity kicks in. It's like I know I'm going away for a while and I want to see as many people as I can before I go. I had been planning to visit friends and family in Pittsburgh, but I think it's probably too late to go now.

We're finishing setting up my downstairs 'den' this weekend. I found a cheap recliner on Craigslist, borrowed a dorm fridge, and we're going to look at inexpensive flat screen tv's. Daughter Esther and her beau Konrad and some of their friends have taken care of the yard work. (Now there's a perc of illness if ever there was one.) I've almost got my taxes done and we're trying to get anything else requiring thinking and attention taken care of while we can. I gargle with a special rinse 4 times a day. It's supposed to help promote saliva. And I brush with special fluoride toothpaste 3 times a day. That's to keep my teeth from crumbling from the radiation.

I'm feeling like I'm getting pretty well hunkered down and ready for game day. Or is it the twister? Or the quake? Well...something's coming!