10. life intrudes...

...or should I say death?

I think maybe I've been giving this cancer a little more attention than it deserves. But cancer can be a selfish bugger. This evening I got news that has put it into perspective.

Mirm, mom of Mike, my best friend growing up in Pittsburgh, died over the weekend. Mirm became my second mom because I spent so much time over at his house, playing music, taking pictures, listening to music, and just generally loafing, experimenting and growing up. She was a ball of fire. She painted, made sculpture, furniture, and clothing, among other things. She also always had a fully stocked pantry and fridge that she was aching to share with us at any time of day or night. She drove us wherever we wanted to go in a succession of big VW buses. She was always upbeat, positive, complimentary, charming and unconsciously flirty. When I saw her about a month ago, after she'd fought a long battle with congestive heart failure, she was confined indoors, tethered to the hose of an oxygen tank and yet she was still pretty much the same. Although she was a little less able to jump around serving everyone, she was upbeat, curious and flattering. She asked how I was doing. Said my gray eyebrows made me look distinguished.

I called Mike tonight after I got the news. He told me when she was diagnosed back in October or so, the doctors said she probably wouldn't live more than a month. But Mirm had her own agenda. She wanted to make it to Thanksgiving. Then Xmas. Then she wanted to see the Steelers play in the superbowl. Then she wanted to see Barack Obama get sworn in. Mike called her the "Mirminator."

In the meantime she brought her family together. She stayed with Mike's brother Cedar in Pittsburgh and Mike moved back from North Carolina to help organize her things and to spend time with her. Although he says it could get rough, he feels incredibly lucky to have been able to be with her all this time. Mirm deserved it. For years after her husband, Chuck, a big bear of a guy, was felled by a stroke she visited him daily at the nursing home where he hung on, barely conscious. After he died she seemed to blossom, traveling, dressing sharply in the southwestern style, doing art and entertaining in her tidy 2 bedroom apartment.

She was a great lady. I'm going to miss her. The family will be hosting a memorial service in Pittsburgh in two weeks and I'm going. If I didn't have a reason to be strong and show this cancer who's boss I do now. I want to say my goodbye.